Individual, Who?

Saw Delhi Belly yesterday & loved it! Loved it in its full glory too, with all the gaali-galoch & the urban chutzpah. Finally a comic film for the adults, which actually treats the viewers as adults. Had been following the 'what he said, what they didnt' controversies about the movie for a while now & honestly, am pleasantly surprised that the censor board showed the maturity to actually pass the movie without any strategic 'beeps', inspite of scores willing eagerly to point out that the film is not 'Indian culture'. 

The other news I have been following is what the local media here is calling 'a civil rights movement' in India- the Lokpal andolan. While I am completely supportive of the right to a transparent governance, I couldn't help think after the movie yesterday that having some shades of transparency in governance or getting rid of corruption in the upper echelons, could never make our civic society 'liberated'. Many people talk the talk about having a free society- and they define freedom by the freedom of religion, equality, expression etc, but when it comes to actual implementation, one right which is abused more than other fundamental right in our country is the right to individuality. Individuality is the basic tenet of civil rights. And till individuality is not cherished, 'India could never be a land of the free'

Funnily, this is one wrong-doing which we cant blame entirely on the government, as we are wont to do. We Indians are taught  to put the family above the individual right from our cradle- when we are born, the mother who bore the pain for 9mths to bring us in the world cannot name us, the right belongs to the grandparents or the myriad relatives.We start going to school & what we read in school-textbooks is not the truth as we actually see it, but what the government sees fit for us to read (even if the course contents look like they belong to our grandparents era & has as much use as that!). As we finish our schooling, most often than not we are deemed unfit to determine our vocation,  its our parents who do the honors for us. Whichever novels we read/movies we see, we owe that to some 'upholders' or censors of the moral-society, who ever so magnanimously do us the favor of deciding whether something is 'Indian culture' or not. Nd ofcourse whenever we marry, its again the parents & the society deciding who is worthy to be our life-partner. Thankfully, society has left it upon the individuals to have kids & did not turn it into a collective affair!

Ah yes, we owe a lot to the Bhishma-pitamahs of the society. We have them to thank for deeming us old enough to vote, marry, even have the responsibility of kids at 18 but probably not mature enough to consume alcohol till 25. We have them to thank for for raising the population to a cool 1.2 billion, yet immoral for us to see or hear about sex on-screen or even have a meaningful discussion about it with our parents during our teenage years. We have also them to thank for letting us follow the tenets of any religion, but probably not good enough to criticize any. God save us from these morality-spewing collective do-gooders!

Kudos to the writer of Delhi belly for having the guts to show that every movie doesn't have to be about the kid & his grandmother. Wish we had someone scripting the same in our civil society as well.

Lessons from a Cucumber Seller

The law of inertia has stuck my fingers apparently. Every time I see something interesting, I think about the potentiality of me blogging about it....but then my brain sends a msg to my fingers, nd my fingers say naaah....dont want so much botheration, nd so my half-formed ideas remain at that!

But today I found something, which every part of my body agreed was worth taking the trouble for. This is an autobiographical excerpt from Subroto Bagchi, Co-founder of Mind-tree & management writer. I kinda loved the article for the simplicity of thought presented....a true fact that most of us care two-hoots about the events & fresh ideas unfolding around us.

"At peace with himself and with the world rushing past, this man was dressed in poverty. But in his presence, it was I who felt poor...

On a hot July day, my colleague Moses and I were trying to locate our car on Chennai’s Nungambakkam High Road in front of Nalli Silks when I saw a roadside cart laden with cucumbers. The seller was vacantly gazing at passersby. Clad in a white shirt and a dhoti worn in the traditional Chennai style, he had long hair and an unkempt beard. I did not know Tamil, and asked Moses to find out the price. One rupee apiece, came the reply.

We wanted one piece each. The cucumber seller began deftly slicing them to put salt and the delectable red chilly powder on the neat halves. As we bit into the cucumber, I asked Moses to tell him that his pricing was too low, and that he should raise it. Moses conveyed this. The seller shook his head, and replied that “customer satisfaction” is more important than extra profit. The words ‘customer satisfaction’ were in English. I gulped my patronising comment. At this time, Moses excused himself to find our car. After a few moments, the seller asked me in English where I was from. From Bangalore, I replied. What follows here is our conversation. His statements are highlighted.

Isn’t the Karnataka budget due to be presented tomorrow? Yes, that is true. Living in Karnataka, it was easy for me to concur on this.

I wonder how the governments of Karnataka and Tamil Nadu will ever solve the water-sharing problem. Man cannot solve this problem. It has to be God. After all, it is an issue of how much rain is going to fall! I nodded. I was not sure if I had a view at all.

See the way the monsoon is progressing. It does not look good. The progress of the rains is leaving a ‘V’ of a dry patch as the clouds move north. Bihar, Orissa, Madhya Pradesh and the states up north will have problems. Politicians are the ones who use such problems to create a divide among people. They always do it. They use water, religion, anything they can, to create a divide. Look at the way Amarinder Singh of Punjab is taking a stand. I looked at him, in part admiration and part disbelief.

You’re from Bangalore. Things are going well for you folks. But I don’t understand how people with shady business interests can become representatives of public opinion there. It was part complaint and part observation.

At this point, a fellow peddler arrived — helped himself to some of the cucumber, and the two had a quick conversation on some issue I did not understand. After the other person left, I asked him if selling cucumber was his full-time vocation. He told me that right now it was. Earlier, he sold lottery tickets, the trading of which has since been banned. As a result he had to switch his business to selling cucumbers on the wheeled cart. No complaints and no issues. Meaning to engage him further, I asked him his religion. This drew an instant look of disappointment from him: “Sir, I am an Indian. That is my religion. In my eyes, all people are equal, and it does not matter to me at all.”

The clarity of his response and his conviction took me completely by surprise. His net worth was probably equal to his day’s turnover. The newspaper and magazines he reads, to keep abreast of things, wipe off the disposable income he generates. Bare feet on this busy, dusty road, he sold a low-value, perishable product from a rickety cart. At peace with himself and with the world rushing past, this man was dressed in poverty. But in his presence, it was I who felt poor.

We are not complete if we are not connected. It is only when we are connected that things make sense. Only when things make sense, we can form an opinion. Standing there, I wondered how many in the corporate world know who the chief minister of Punjab is, and about the progress of the monsoon! How many have an informed view on river water politics and budget proceedings of another state.

Soon, Moses appeared with our car. It was time for me to go. I shook hands with the nameless cucumber seller of Chennai. Actually, I wanted to touch his feet."

An Essay on Education

Writing after a loooong time. No, not for paucity of time or motivation, but perhaps the need of expressing myself has decreased significantly now that I have a regular sounding board with whom I can ‘share’ my frustrations and my pet peeves (Poor thing!) Also I am taking time assimilating, absorbing (and appreciating!) the shock of living in a different country. I had never thought I could ever love a city more than Mumbai. But now I am in the throes of a toe-curling extra-marital affair with NY. Talk of being infidel!! :P

One of the things which has really impressed me so far is the American Educational system vis-à-vis its Indian counterpart. No, I am not discounting the lack of security or moral values in the high-schools or the under-grad levels: the bane of every young Indian parent trying to bring up kids here. What I appreciate is the quality of the education itself which encourages a child to have an all-round development & lets him/her study any field of his/her choice without fear of career & future financial security. In short, people don’t need to run after multiple degrees here; you could be an under-grad in Psychology or Sociology, but could easily be employed by Morgan Stanley or Nomura in Investment Banking or Research or Trading! Try contrasting that with the Indian educational system where people have to gain multiple degrees & endless hours of brain-numbing studying to make a break in a career of their choice. Often people in India take inane pride in their string of degrees without analyzing whether those degrees actually are useful for their careers or not. More needn't be always better.

Another major difference between US & Indian educational system is the flexibility in education offered to the students here. Students can choose amongst a host of classes and courses in high school and college. This means they can change their major (i.e. field of study) midway through college. This usually means that students in the US receive more exposure to a variety of subjects and hence, are more aware of their career options and opportunities. On the other hand, the Indian education and social systems are very hard on kids and completely ignore their feelings, opinions and ambitions. Kids are pushed to study from the age of 3 and non-performers are treated as dolts and ostracized by parents and society. The preferred choice of learning and teaching is memorizing facts. These facts do help in the long run; the multiplication tables we learned in primary school keep us ahead of our American peers who need a calculator to find out what 6 times 7 is ! However, the memorization approach to study does not allow and teach kids to think independently. The American school system lays stress on individual ability development and encourages kids to express themselves and their opinions from an early age. As a result, most Americans are way better at getting their point across as compared to people from other countries. As my husband once was shocked when a taxi-driver started intelligently discussing the oil & gas industry, after discovering he was an Oil analyst in a big investment bank!

I remember a conversation with an Irish colleague in London a couple of years ago, about the attitude of the West towards the rapidly developing India & China. One of the topics was the educational system which made possible the emerging of India as IT superpower. I remember my colleague remarking “I admire the brilliant minds from your country, but damn if I make my kid a geek & have him sit in front of the PC programming day-in & day-out. I would rather have him chase girls & drink beer & have a life of his own” A statement I have truly appreciated many times since then, whenever I see the parents & teachers holding the poor kids’ noses to a perpetual grindstone in a quest to get better marks than their peers. India has mass-produced many generations of geeks & nerds, unable to express an intelligent opinion on areas of study different from their own or indeed in many cases, unable to express an opinion at all, because their educational system never required them to have communication skills!

Contrast this to the educational system in western countries, where ‘additional tuitions’ to score more marks are practically non-existent, kids are compulsorily encouraged to take up at least one sport & multiple foreign languages are taught in schools to encourage appreciation of global diversity as well equip them with skill sets to cope with multicultural work environment.

It’s high time our Indian educational system becomes less ‘mindless study’ oriented & more ‘all-round development’ & ‘practical application’ oriented in the context of global economic & social structure. My fear is that the increasing pressure on the kids to perform academically should not result in majority of generations of students facing psychological problems in trying to keep pace with an out-dated system.

India shining, but why parents are still whining...

A lot has been made about India stepping into the 21st century. The politicians & community leaders are very quick to give exemplary references to the India shining campaign. Still many of them are gracious enough to espouse the cause of minority reservation to show solidarity to the meteoric & equitable growth of the nation. But when we talk about Indian marriages which are inter caste and inter religious, it seems like a taboo to most of these community leaders. Why a big-deal is made out of an inter-caste marriage in our country?

Forget about the rural areas, even the so-called ‘educated urban’ parents draw a line where marriages are concerned.However loving and caring the parents maybe, when it comes to the question of marriage parents ‘demand’ complete filial obedience. And the problem gets escalated manifold when a girl of the house wants to marry somebody out of caste. Immediate aspersions are cast on the up-bringing of the girl by the community & the fear of the same draws unequivocal rejection by the parents; which in some cases go as far as torturing the girl both physically and mentally. Also the parents ‘wash-off’ their hands from the girl & keep chastising the day the ‘girl’ was born who had the temerity to blotch the family name. Honour-killings, just to preserve the chastity of the family is also not unheard off.

Recently I heard a case in my community where the father & his immediate relatives are blaming the mother (who is supposedly single-handed responsible for the upbringing of the girl) for abetting her daughter in going against her pure-brahminical values; to the extent that the father has threatened the mother with divorce if the daughter goes ahead with her decision.

Such atrocities raise many questions like: Why is caste imposed on couples who want to get married peacefully? In simple words, what is the big deal? Where does the buck stop here? Why is marriage between two individuals made out to be a grave community problem? Why the decision to marry 'somebody else' implies that a person has no respect for his/her parents? Just because a girl decided to get married of her own choice, why are aspersions caste on her upbringing and her character? Why is she not free to like or love someone and live happily with her partner?

As Chetan Bhagat opines, we are taught to love by our parents. Then does love loses its meaning just because it was not bound by geographic, casteist or religious parameters?

God, who?

First a disclaimer: I am not a true devout...nor am I total atheist. My relationship with God, as with many, is sadly based on mutual convenience (i.e. whenever it is convenient to both God and myself to exchange notes at a particular place!) And I often try to hide my lazy nature by claiming to Mom that it is definitely not necessary to go to temples to have belief in God!

But then unlike me, who there are some people who claim to believe in God, but instead of relying on an abstract concept - faith, rely on hard facts to prove the existence of an even more abstract concept- God Himself!

Even while the scientists in CERN are trying to disprove the existence of God by recreating through the LHC experiment what is supposed to be God's biggest miracle- 'Creation of Universe', there is a theoretical physicist who is trying to use science itself for calculating the possibility of God being in existence (using the solid mathematical principles of probability). And the result is...67%!!!

I have just finished reading a fantastic book called 'THE PROBABILITY OF GOD' by Dr. Stephen Unwin who has set out to mathematically and objectively determine what are the odds of God being in existence, without giving an actual 'Yes' or 'No' answer whether there IS INDEED a God. And for that Dr. Unwin started off with an initial 50-50 chance- same as a coin toss- for God having an existence in this world.

Using then what is known as Bayes theorem (apparently, a popularly used probability formula), Dr. Unwin then examines the evidence gathered around 6 parameters ( recognition of goodness, moral evil, natural evil, prayers, resurrection & religious experiences) by assigning them grades s, based on how God's presence affects their existence in this world (If your eyes are glazing over, keep reading. I'm about to wind this math business soon). And viola, he found after factoring these probability of evidences, the probability of God being in existence increases from the initial 50% to 67%!!

But the most interesting thing is Unwin has included everything- from natural disasters to supposed miracles, from existence of wickedness to propensity of suffering, from evil to philanthropic nature of man- by grading the probability of their existence both in presence and absence of God! The theory is obviously a big hit- Considering the fact there are equal numbers of physicists praising & criticizing it :)

Interesting premise, surely. Lolz.

Atithi Devo Bhava????... Not Exactly!!!

First things first, I am not making any statements here in support of any sort of political violence (have always believed these parochial regional parties to be a dim-witted extremist group, who think they have the right to control anybody’s speech or expression)…. If any, I clearly condemn the violence targeted against any particular community. But my post is a logical assimilation of facts about why the ‘Mumbai for the natives’ finds ground with many Mumbaikars. And I know of hundreds of educated people who are equally supportive of this stance, including two of my CA friends who are also workers of MNS. Hence, my quest to find what drives educated people in my city to support, silently or otherwise, the so-called regional fanaticism? Is the fanaticism indeed misplaced?

I go with simple facts. The very existence of the dual concept of a ‘state’ (based on the linguistic prototype in our country) & a nation has been formed on the premise that every state can concentrate better & provide better infrastructure & support to the citizens belonging to that region. Nd citizens means by definition, a person domiciled in that particular state. Hence providing employment to the citizens of the state is also under the purview of the state government. So if a government decides to reserve certain jobs for its own citizens (in this case, taxi drivers) on the basis of the number of years of stay in a region, what is wrong in that? You certainly can’t have citizens committing suicides in your own state for lack of means of livelihood, while supporting the new influx of outside population everyday, right. Even Americans follow that…. as everybody knows, there are restrictions on people of one state working in other; a lawyer, for e.g., qualified in one state, needs to pass the bar-exam of another state to start practicing there. And for people who say, that jobs should be on the basis of talent…isn’t reservation the basic fabric of Indian constitution? I mean, it should be okay to accept reservation based on regionalism, atleast in jobs where no major & specific skill sets are required, when you have almost 50% reservations based on casteist politics every where else, right? You certainly can’t condemn one thing & accept another. If jobs-for-the-natives-thought doesn’t hold ground, why have states in the first place based on linguistic criteria?

Plus Mumbai is a unique case which can’t be compared with the rest of the country. No other city has seen this extent of migration & that too for so long. Wouldn't it be hypocritical to turn a blind eye to certain harsh social and political realities of Mumbai? With nearly 2 crore residents in the Mumbai & the nearby areas of Navi Mumbai and Thane, its population has rapidly grown to become greater than the combined population of nine Indian states. (official facts!) Its once-famed infrastructure is highly overstretched, lowering the quality of life for rich and poor alike. It once had the best municipal governance in India; not any more. Fifty-four per cent of its residents live in slums, most of which are so unbelievably congested and squalid that it is criminal on the part of any government to let people live in such inhuman conditions. Some 20,000 houses in the older part of the city are in a dangerously dilapidated state, the reason why every monsoon one reads about people dying in incidents of house collapse.

Mumbai, sadly is crumbling. Reeling, tottering & decaying under the ever-burgeoning population it supports. Everybody who has travelled in a local train for more than an hour everyday on one foot, swathed in sweat, will testify that. And if a person sitting in some plush office, traveling some 10 mins in a car in South Mumbai to reach work, advocates Mumbai for all…all the common man can say is ‘Shut the hell up!’ The fact remains that the city seriously can’t bear the burden of the weight of the daily migration (and that too in thousands!) on its infrastructure. But few politicians in the city, state or country are taking a serious and comprehensive view of its chronic condition, and fewer still are willing to take the tough decisions to set things right. By tough decisions, one does not mean resorting to violence— against north Indians or Indians from any other part of India — from settling in Mumbai. That certainly is wrong. But is it wrong to hold that encroachments should be stopped, that people must not be allowed to occupy pavements and places earmarked for public utilities, or that the cut-off years for regularisation of slums must be strictly adhered to?

Indeed the questions being asked are right, just they are going about in a wrong way doing the same.

Quintessentially Mumbaiyya!

Yeh Delhi hai mere yaar, bas ishq muhabbat pyaar...So went the gtalk status msgs of almost all of Delhi friends a few days before. My response was "Haa haa, bas yehi kaam kar sakte ho, aur waise bhi koi kaam hota hai nahi tumse" & my friend retorted "thats the essentially practical Mumbaikar speaking, who can never understand the finer nuances of romance. Dilli Dilwaalonki aur tumhaari nagari Paisewaalonki". Ahem. The comparison of Mumbai with Delhi is the most exciting subject for the people who are been to both the cities Its a gr8 debate and why not!!! India is all about its two capitals... you have the political capital of the nation at one hand while we have economic capital of the nation at the other hand. And both set of people claim to be the best!

I have my own experiences. People from Delhi think that they are more sophisticated than the Mumbai folks “Hey it’s a matter of semantics”, as my friend HP puts it. “Basically a difference between a 'Delh-ite'& a 'Mumbai-kar'. That sums it all. Also Mumbai has locals while Delhi has Metro. I will say these transportation modes of the cities actually reveals the character of the people.” Ahem.

But the most colourful difference is found in the language. A true Delhiite's soul is often shaken to the core when he hears the mince-meated version of the national language we Mumbaikar's pass around as our own (though must confess, am equally not too much enamoured with the Haryanvi, Punju & Bhojpuri influences in Delhi's Hindi- what with the Dekh Liyo, Kar liyo floating in almost every sentence uttered by them. Also every time I visit the capital am tickled pink with the wierd & suggestive Bhojpuri songs played by the cab waalas) But all thing said & done, Mumbaiyya Hindi is enough to get the goats of the Delhiites. The other day, a bunch of us were talking about Mumbai & its quirks. And the Delhiites were reminiscing about their first brush with the quintessentially Mumbai Hinmarlish (Hindi+Marathi+English), which left us all shaking with laughter.

MM was telling us about his first brush with the friendliest person in the city- the chattering, gabbering Taxi-waala. Yup we all have had various jovial, exasperating experiences with them, havent we?? Now this guy apparentely took it upon himself to show this guy just how much he did not know about this city and its familiar, well-known black and yellow taxis. 'Khaali Peeli overtake nahi karne kaa' was the advice given by this warm-hearted samaritan going under the guise of a taxi-driver. MM took it literally and told us that for the initial 3 mths he never ever tried to overtake a taxi, even if it was extremely slow-moving, as he logically interpreted 'kaali' - black & 'peeli-yellow to refer to our famed taxi. But it took him ages to figure that one out, since in Mumbaiyya Hindi, khaali-peeli, said with a little more spit and less polish, is a way of saying that something is unnecessary. MM got so peeved of being made a fool of, that to this day he deliberately tries to overtakes every taxi speeding in front of him....

Then there was DP. One evening, she took a rick from Andheri station. The auto fellow, being friendly or bored because he didn’t have a music deck, started making small talk with her. He sympathetically looked at her and asked ‘Train mein gardi thi?’ My friend didn’t seem to understand, so she mumbled something that the rick guy didn’t want repeated. So that was that. The next day, her bai comes in late and launches into a huge narration, the moot point of which is, ‘Bahut gardi thi.’ My friend reaches office and hears two colleagues commenting on the horrid route to work. ‘Itni gardi mein kaise koi time pe pahunchega.’ She was now left wondering what ‘gardi’ is, because she hasn’t heard that word before – ever. And finally drew her own conclusion out of it.

One day in context with something her friends had to say, our DP goes & says 'gardi' mein patte jhadte hain. Everybody is perplexed. What could ‘gardi’ possibly mean here?DP explained “I’d heard of garmi (hot climate) and I’d heard of sardi (cold climate). I thought an intermediary season would be ‘gardi’. So poor DP's interpretation of gardi was yup, Autumn!!!

By this time everybody of us were almost ROFL-Rolling on floor laughing.

It was then VPs turn- the most unusual Delhite, because he genuinely loves ‘Aamchi Mumbai’.He says the proudest day of his life was when he surprised himself by asking the taxiwallah, 'tereko wahan jaane ka hai ki nahi?' Nowadays he goes & proudly talks to the local shopkeeper ishtiyal se 'ke mujhe chuna nahin lagane ka'; which strangely makes him fee no longer an alien in a strange city. But he still is perplexed why the North Indians in the city take umbrage over being called “Bhaiyya”

Indeed the quirkiness of the city gets to everyone, especially if are a ‘sophisticated Delhite’. But as a Mumbaikar will put it “zyada load nahi leneka, shaanti se yahape rehneka”

In favour of Selfishness

Two men were traveling together, when a Bear suddenly met them on their path.
One of them climbed up quickly into a tree and concealed himself in the branches.
The other, seeing that he will be attacked, fell flat on the ground, and when the Bear came up and felt him with his snout, and smelt him all over, he held his breath, and feigned the appearance of death as much as he could.
The Bear soon left him, for it is said he will not touch a dead body.
When he was quite gone, the other Traveler descended from the tree, and jocularly inquired of his friend what it was the Bear had whispered in his ear.
"He gave me this advice," his companion replied. "Never travel with a friend who deserts you at the approach of danger."

As a child I was made me to believe that the guy whose first instinct was to save his own hide was being selfish. Self-preservation is wrong; the right thing to do is to lay down your life on the pagan altars of supposed heroism, even if you are not doing anybody a favour by doing so. Selflessness is IN, right? As I grew up, I was taught a very important concept. True love is not selfish. If it is selfish, it is not love. And here I am referring to each and every form of love: the love between a parent and his child, the love between spouses, love between siblings, anything....true love means thinking about others more than yourself; the moment you place urself above others, you have become selfish. It made me always wonder: What do you mean by selfishness? Is thinking about yourself wrong? And is love really as selfless as it is made out to be?

Was discussing the same point with my Dad, my cousin and my friends ND & GL (separately) over the last week or so. And in all the instances, came up with some good take-aways:

What is Selfishness? Selfishness is when you push yourself up by putting others down. So if you are just thinking about yourself, without thinking about anybody else and with no intention of causing harm to anybody, does that really qualify as selfishness? The moot point here is 'Will you be contended in the long run, if you yourself are not happy but are trying to make somebody else happy'. Think about this- will your loved ones be truly happy, if they know that you are giving them happiness, at the cost of your own self-interest. Is it wrong for a person to safeguard first his own interest and then others, when everybody knows that the utmost happiness a person can get is through self-actualisation? Is it correct to brand it as selfishness or pandering to one's ego? Food for thought.....

Then down to the second most important point: is love selfless? Often parental love is called as the most selfless love. And often you hear statements from young zealous lovers that 'I expect nothing from her/him, yet I will go on loving her/him for the rest of my life, because my love is true.' And I have to ask the question here: is there any such thing as an unselfish love? Most parents value and love their children; therefore the children are an extension to his or her self-interest. As a parent, I would want the best things in life for my children and as a wife; I would want the best for my spouse. As a daughter, I want my parents to be always happy. These values of mine are by no stretch of the imagination selfless (putting their needs ahead of mine) but rather selfish because they are what I value in life and I will do everything necessary to take care of them. Because I value their love and affection, I must take care of them emotionally, financially, and physiologically.People say, true love is one which doesn't expect anything from anybody. Does the fact of judging love inversely with the amount of expectations you may have, ever arise here? Certainly not, because Love by itself is the Most selfish emotion in this world. Consider this: you cannot say “I love you” without first saying “I”.

If you do charity, are kind to others, does that really make you selfless? And if you buy things for yourself, not thinking about others, does that make you selfish? Strange distinction. Because in both cases, u do it because u feel good doing it. Nothing else. The journey is different; destination remains the same. The quest always had and always will be the quest for happiness. Some people find it in others; some in themselves.

So stop berating the poor guy who climbed up the tree in self-preservation on seeing the bear. Trust me, that was the wisest thing he could have done, because he would have been of no-use to his friend if he had just stood there shivering, waiting for death to befall both of them. Being 'selfish' helps, definately!

Gavyatra....

Yeah, I have been again missing from the blog scene (this missing act has become too much of a regularity though). I have just had the most incredible two weeks of my life. A time to practice what I preach, so as to speak. After harping on the necessity of financing the grassroots in my earlier blogs, it was time to hit the road & actually assess the impact of micro-finance in the grassroots. And so we did- penetrating the heart of rural India. An India most of us have heard only in Amrita Pritam/Premchand books or seen in Shyam Benegal movies.

The ABN AMRO India Foundation gave 15 of us the opportunity to study the impact of microfinance on the beneficiaries (rural women), through one of its MFI partners CASHPOR India (Cash & Savings for the Hardcore Poor) which has its major operations in UP & Bihar hinterland. And so, 15 of us from the length & breadth of ABN AMRO offices aided by 7 local boys acting as interpreters, gathered in Varanasi to cover approximately 25 villages across 4 districts of UP- Varanasi, Mirzapur, Ghazipur & Chandauli.

It was an experience by itself getting up at 5 am most of the days, hitting the road by 6, traveling through dusty, cold roads, walking through muck filled kaccha roads, finding houses spread apart over 10 kms, facing lack of sanitation facilities, eating invariably Rotis and Aaloo-Gobi sabzi in roadside Dhabas and above all grappling with Bhojpuri & Khadi dialects spoken in the region. Really a world apart for a true-blue townie like me. But boy, did we ever relish this experience...beautiful countryside, refreshing pollution-free air and above all warmth seeping through the simplicity of the village people. And all through-out we had Mother Ganges to guide us through our journey!

Village tableau

Interviewing the people was an altogether amazing experience…at some places the village folk assumed us to be representatives of Electricity dept collecting bills! But once these people heard the name of Cashpor India & were made to understood that they were not being interrogated for any financial reasons, they were only happy to help. These people are really amazing: loss of livestock is a far monumental problem than death of children in the family. Most of the people struggle to earn 60 Rs. Per diem, but don’t think twice before spending lacs of rupees on weddings/death in the family (mostly through borrowing from the moneylender on interest rates as high as 15% per month!). We met both sets of people: prosperous villagers supplementing their seasonal agricultural income with various industries started with money borrowed from Cashpor- Animal Husbandry, Saree weaving, Grocery stores, etc & also the poorest of the poor lot; people who could barely feed their children because of illness, loss of livestock, effect of flood/draught. But what stuck us the most was the ever-present smile & the warm welcome accorded to us wherever we went. I can truly say that inspite of being poor, these people are far richer than us in the happiness quotient.

It was a revelation to understand the implications of micro-finance. For a corporate banker, a small ticket loan of 20,000 would be something unimaginably insignificant. For a city-bred person 20,000 would mean monthly shopping expense. But for a villager 20,000 Rs would mean annual income for his huge family. And therein lies the whole difference. But it would be really churlish to ignore the commercial aspects of the microfinance business, especially the almost non-existent NPAs. And I could actually see why. The self-respect and discipline micro-finance has installed in these people is a phenomenon seen to be believed. It was really heartening to see women walking as far as 10 kms every week to their centre, whatsoever weather, ailment, financial disaster etc to repay their weekly loan instalment. The seriousness by which these women swear their commitment for repayment in their concluding meeting prayer is an absolutely heart-touching experience.

Microfinance clients

Many things left us completely stunned, speechless. Here we could understand the true implications of the social problems of the country. For eg a family we visited in Mirzapur had 21 children, but even they were stumped in actually counting the no. of children in the family and where they are located! Child marriage is extremely prevalent here with the system of ‘Gauna’ practiced rampantly- in which the girl is married off at a very tender age but resides at her parental home till 15-16 yrs of age. But the severest problem we encountered was the caste divide. When finding out the location of a particular family, we would face difficulties on account of the fact that the villagers would be ignorant of families of another “Biradar” (caste). Imagine living in a small village for decades altogether, still not knowing the other residents because of the caste divide. But certain things made us smile too…people may/may not have electricity in their huts, but onething you would find frequently is- a mobile phone! Another incident which put a smile on my face was a household I encountered which was not educating their daughter, but was sending their young 15 yr old daughter-in-law to college…truly something really appreciable in these parts.

The RBS Team along with the local student-guides

The team had loads of fun too…by far the funniest of the lot were the evergoing discussions on differences between a ‘Cow, Buffalo, Bullock & Ox’ and ‘Tattoo nd Khacchar’. Boy, the theories surrounding the demystification had everybody in splits. (Ahem. Anybody interested in knowing the same can contact me off-the-line). Also a visit to the holy city of Varanasi is incomplete without a visit to Kashi Vishwanath temple, seeing the Ganga Arati on the Dashashvamedh Ghat nd the majestic Buddhist seat of Sarnath. I had my share of embarrassing moments too. When I was interviewing a lady, I found that there was a crowd of 25-30 people observing the whole interview keenly. When I asked what was going on, the lady’s son replied cheekily “Madam, sab aapko dekhne aaye hai” That point of time, I really could empathize with the tiger kept in a zoo peered at by everybody! But the crown..err.. has to go to the Bhojpuri songs I encountered on the trip. “Saniya Mirza Dhoniya pe chance mare re” takes the cake, hands down!!!

The Ganga ghats awash in lights

Buddha's shrine in Sarnath

An image which will stay with me forever is the swaying yellow tinged Mustard crop in the dew-laden sepia-tinged morning. Reminded of those famous Daffodil words:

“For oft when on my couch I lie,
In a pensive or a vacant mood,
They flash upon the inward eye,
Which is the bliss of solitude”

This image will be the one which will always remain with me whenever I think of my incredible Varanasi sojourn.

PDA or PDD ???

Yipee...finally thought of something to write about. Dedicated to my good friend DS nd his 'statement of the Day' :-)

Well, this topic stems from the myriad discussions that arose after I had put a status message on my G-talk the other day- 'Too much PDA is a huge put off'. Had all sorts of friends questioning me about my sudden aversion to the obvious love scenes on display in our everyday life.

Every morning I see a young Muslim couple sitting on a bench on Nahur station- cooing, making calf eyes at each other, holding hands, whispering nothing into each others ears; totally oblivious to the stares of the peak-time harried office-going crowd. Some people look patronisingly at the blatantly romantic couple, some frown at them nd others are completey indifferent to their romantic ardour. But today, something different happened. An elderly lady finally decided that enough-is-enough & admonished the couple in front of a big crowd. And the guy had the courage to tell the lady to 'mind her own business'.

You are enjoying the movie but are suddenly distracted by the couple in front of you. They are getting more than frisky and you are uncomfortable for yourself nd the people accompanying you. Public displays of affection (PDA) are rampant just about everywhere. Take a walk to your neighbourhood mall, the local jogger's park, back-seat of a public vehicle or even the road….you see it everywhere. Granted it is the couple's private life nd if they want to put it on exhibition, well, to each one their own....but the moot point is 'How much is too much?' Do we have the right to politely say to them "Guys, cool it!" without risking a cold "Mind your own business?"

Personally, i am put off majorly by 'too much' PDAs. Not that i am a prude, unromantic, cynical person; but somehow the very idea of putting my private life on exhibition for all sundry lascivious eyes is a put-off. Holding hands, an arm around shoulder, a bear hug etc all is fine. The problem arises when the display becomes too sexual. And I am not touching on the topic of societal norms anywhere here. Remember guys, you are still in India, where most people lack the maturity to deal with such situations. I mean, you definately wouldn't want to be in the backseat making out, where u can have the rickshaw driver staring at u with filth-filled eyes, would you?

The most common argument that I encounter against my view-point is that these lovers lack places where they can express their privacy..Agreed, very valid. It may help if some places are ear-marked as 'private zones' without the law-makers butting in their privacy. Maybe the trick lies in striking a balance. That means, not going off limits but not being completely alienated too. Restraint is the name of the game guys! Lawmakers & elders for once can get a little more generous for a change and realise that the world is getting more expressive!

On reading my status message, DS came up with his gem, which had us both rolling with laughter..."Affection is such a good word to be used in PDA and what u see nowadays is much different than 'affection'. It should be called-
PDD- Public Display of Desperation!"

Role Models, Anyone???

‘Please name one person you consider as your Role Model’, so went one of our lecturers in a GMCS session held last month. And won’t believe it, there were some pretty amazing answers being circulated amongst a batch of 80 professionals. Apart from the usual to be expected ‘my parents’, Sachin Tendulkar or some filmstar Name responses, there were some pretty wacky ones too…right from MS Dhoni, Atif Aslam to (of all the people) Himesh Reshamiyya (reason- he makes optimum utilisation of all his natural resources, read- his nose) & height of heights, the ghost Manjulika from Bhool Bhulaiyya (reason- Good eye contact!!!!) The people who say that CAs are a serious lot lacking a sense of humour, should seriously have their heads examined or atleast, attend a GMCS class!

Well, amongst this crowd, there was one person who didn’t have any answer…If the prof would have asked me (she didn’t; thankfully), she would have drawn a blank. I tried hard that day to name one person as my role model, a person whose life I would wish to imitate & I suddenly found, that I liked being ME…accepting all my faults, foibles, my insensitivities. Much as I love my Mom, I can’t be like her. Call it my arrogance, ego, impertinence, Devil-may-care attitude or Whatever…Can’t imagine living any other person’s life!

And from that day, hearing those answers, questioning myself & others ‘Do Role Models still have relevance in this world?’ Can Filmstars, Cricketers, Businessmen be really called as role-models? Recently there was an issue when SRK was seen smoking while watching a cricket match…and somebody remarked that he should not smoke in public b’coz he was a role-model to millions. Agreed that the guy is good at what he does, but that does not mean that he should be expected to live an exemplary life in his personal space too…He is as humane as the rest of us & people should not forget it. The very premise of putting celebrities on a pedestal is really questionable: their real and reel lives seem to merge in to volatile heady cocktails of fear of unknown failures & of various romances of conveniences, centered on narcissism and hedonism.

There are many others who don’t go for the celebrity prototypes. These people seek out role models who exemplify the things they want to be and accomplish in life. For some it is people who stood their ground when others were willing to cave to convenience or peer pressure. For e.g. take the case of Vikram Akula, a guy single-handedly responsible for changing the financial face of many Indian villages. We may admire such people, but do we need to model our entire life on them. We forget that we are but admiring a particular facet of their personality. These people may have done many mistakes in their own lives, which we may not come to know of it anyways, because people choose to glorify what they like to read or see & not, what they don’t like. Here we are forgetting that life itself is not about Blacks or Whites, life is mainly Gray!

At the risk of sounding too sermonious, I really think that it’s okay to dream about others but an thorough education about our own potentials will open up more doors and lead us onto more paths than being in this fish bowl that these celebrity people call a life…As a slogan on my T-shirt proclaims-

I don’t have Any influences,
Any heroes;

It’s Just ME!

Dare to be Different !

Right now, I am in the midst of a very important phase of my life...The process of job-hunting. More precisely, the term should be 'profile-hunting'. I must say, this has been the most hectic three weeks of my life; what with juggling between GMCS, post-GMCS evening shift office, interviews, campus orientation & a trip to Matheran. Phew!!

Speaking of job-hunting & career, a very important question plaguing my l'il cousin these days is choosing a right career. Being a very intelligent science student, she has a choice between 2 paths; going for a career traditionally considered viable or going in an hitherto uncommon arena.She called me up yesterday with her dilemma; her parents are forcing her to go for the first, she herself would prefer the second. I listened to her patiently, then asked her whether she really needed my opinion.Maybe I sound rude, but honestly, I thought at that time, my cousin had made up her mind in favour of the first option, she just needed someone to reiterate that she was doing the correct thing...Which unfortunately I couldn't agree upon.

Is this something peculiar to my cousin? No, I think it happens to almost everyone. Sometimes we are so attached to our way of life, that we turn down a wonderful opportunity simply because we don't know what to do with it. Every person believes he should get a professional degree, have a successful career, get married, so on & so on. Does anybody ask themselves, "Can I be different?"

Most of my friends today have a professional degree to their name, but does it mean everybody is doing a job of their choice? Definately not. Some got a degree, because at the time of enrolling somewhere people said, in order to rise in this world you need this degree. And thus the world was deprived of some excellent gardeners, commercial artists, writers, sculpters etc. And that is the problem with the entire educational system in India. Perhaps, time has come to now review this entire situation.

I'll let these lines by Robert Frost provide a possible solution to this problem (have already quoted this immortal poem in my blog earlier) :-

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I -
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

(P.S. Hope my cousin is reading this post. May God give her the strength & the vision to follow what her heart knows is right!)

The Big Fat Indian Media Tamasha !!

Owing to the fact that television in my house is completely monopolised by my Mom in the night on weekdays, catching up wth her Saas-Bahu programs (which I really can't stand), I tend to find my solace somehow in watching news channels, catching wth the days happenings. But the Indian media is hellbent in weaning me away from that too...for what is dished out nowadays in the name of 'breaking news' is anything but news. Sample this:

1. Amitabh Bacchan ko thand lag rahi hai (To main kya karu !)
2. Aishwarya Rai ne kachra balcony se bahar pheka (I m seriously not kidding, this was the hot news last week!)
3. Uttar Pradesh ke ek gaav mein ek aadmi ko pooch(tail) hai!

If u think this is bad enough, think again..the worst is yet to come. On Saturday, I was surfing the channels I caught upon an AV on a news channel..."Dekhiye..pehli baar..Ek Sher jhaad pe chad raha hai" Disgustedly, I turned off the idiot tube...After three hours, when I turned it on again, the channel was showing the same news again, as breaking news!!

I give up...Completely!!

On Dharma & Religion...

Saw a politician on TV today making a statement on the Raj Thakeray controversy, "We will not tolerate an insult to our Marathi Dharma". Made me really wonder, why do people use the word 'Dharma' so loosely?

When asked "what does 'Dharma' mean to you", Bhishma Pitamah said in the Mahabharata that "Dharma Matibhya Udgritaha" translated meaning 'Dharma is one which appeals to reason, to conscience, to one's soul'...If this is true how can one justify mindless violence as one appealing to reason? Can anyone believe in & commit acts of violence with his soul remaining intact?

Dharma definately does not mean religion or language or caste; it is the purpose of life. Religion or should I term it this way, devotion to God is like a burning lamp post which guides people in reaching their destination. People however misconstruct it & intermingle them. Reminded here of Abraham Lincoln's famous words:

“When I do good, I feel good. When I do bad, I feel bad. That’s my religion.”

The need to go forward

I cannot rest from travel:I will drink
Life to the lees: all times I have enjoyed
Greatly, have suffered greatly, both with those
That loved me, and alone; on shore, and when
Through scudding drifts the rainy Hyades
Vest the dim sea: I am become a name;
For always roaming with a hungry heart
Much have I seen and known; cities of men
And manners, climates, councils, governments,
Myself not least, but honoured of them all;
And drunk delight of battle with my peers;
Far on the ringing plains of windy Troy.
I am part of all that I have met;
Yet all experience is an arch wherethrough
Gleams that untravelled world, whose margin fades
For ever and for ever when I move.
How dull it is to pause, to make an end,
To rust unburnished, not to shine in use!
As though to breath were life.
Life piled on life
Were all to little, and of one to me
Little remains: but every hour is saved
From that eternal silence, something more,
A bringer of new things; and vile it were
For some three suns to store and hoard myself,
And this gray spirit yearning in desire
To follow knowledge like a sinking star,
Beyond the utmost bound of human thought

An extract from the poem Ulysses by Lord Alfred Tennyson...One of my favourites.

On Halla Bol & Conscience

Was watching the flick Halla Bol yesterday eve with a group of friends. A film about the awakening of a man’s conscience, forcing him to take a second look at his own jaded, disillusioned existence in the glam world & inspiring others to have a second dekko at their own so-called principles through his efforts of bringing out the truth. Really thought-provoking movie.

But the conversation that followed the movie was even more thought-provoking. While returning from the movie, my friend Shipra (a civil lawyer) & I had an animated conversation in the train, discussing the flick. Do the awakening of the conscience which occured to Ishaan (the protagonist of the film) really happen to people when they actually see a women being molested, teased or even beaten by her own family members? Or are such cases restricted only in the celluloid Utopian land? Our thoughts particularly turned to the recent New-Year’s eve incident of molestation of two women by a group of 70-80 hoodlums outside the J.W. Marriot Hotel. And the much-publicised Jessica Lal murder case, the incident which has inspired the said film. In the above two isolated real-life cases, it was the public outrage which forced the authorities to atleast take cognizance of the offence, leave aside meting out punishment to the guilty. But there are so many unregistered, unnamed cases of crime which go unnoticed because people choose to turn a blind eye to the appalling happenings… Either the people have suppressed their conscience by adding layers of their fear to it or have become too indifferent to even let their conscience find its own voice…

At night, I asked myself what I would have done, if somebody was mauling another in my presence; be it a woman or a man…To be honest, if the victim were to be a woman, I would definitely try to curb the violence…but even I don’t know what would be my reaction, if the victim were to be a man…

In the dull drudgery of living, some choose their own conscience & pursue the cause till the end; the majority is content watching by the sidelines. What would be your reaction?

The Barriers of Mind!

Watching this very gud Airtel ad on TV lately ...What a beautiful concept! Two kids of inimical countries (presumably), crossing the barbed fence (a metaphor for all the self-imposed barriers preventing us from behaving as human beings) & coming together in a No-man zone, bound by their common love for football (truly, sports is a religion which binds men across all diversities). And a caption that says it all,

There is no wall or barrier that can keep us apart, if only we talk to each other.

But there are many who disprove this theory. Reminded of a discussion that took place a couple of months back. When I was studying for my finals at a private library, I happened to interact with a few doctors, who were studying for their MD examination entrance. And our luncheon conversations would range from everything to everything (Reservation issues, films, Medical problems, Economy, Finances, Sports,Politics et all). During one such conversation, we were discussing the Zee SaReGaMa finals, which was going on at that time. I remember saying that I loved the voice of a Pakistani contestant & that he should win. Immediately, a doctor friend remarked that a Paki coming to our country & winning a music contest is not acceptable. To quote him verbatim, “Hamare desh ke singers mar gaye hain kya??” I was stuck dumb by the bigotry of this guy.I had always believed that sports & music are the only two things in this world which has the effect of uniting diverse people. And true appreciators of music (and also renowned doctors) have always agreed that music is spiritual, something which transcends all barriers, a healer of souls’ & body’s imperfections. So how does it matter, whether the guy singing is an Indian or a Paki? Aren’t there many Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan fans in India even today?

Reminded of the lyrics of a poignant Javed Akhtar song in this milieu (can’t remember which film)

Panchi, Nadiya, Pawan ke jhonke,
Koi sarhad na inhe roke.
Sarhadein insaanon ke liye hai,
Socho tumne aur maine kya paaya,
Insaan hoke...