In favour of Selfishness

Two men were traveling together, when a Bear suddenly met them on their path.
One of them climbed up quickly into a tree and concealed himself in the branches.
The other, seeing that he will be attacked, fell flat on the ground, and when the Bear came up and felt him with his snout, and smelt him all over, he held his breath, and feigned the appearance of death as much as he could.
The Bear soon left him, for it is said he will not touch a dead body.
When he was quite gone, the other Traveler descended from the tree, and jocularly inquired of his friend what it was the Bear had whispered in his ear.
"He gave me this advice," his companion replied. "Never travel with a friend who deserts you at the approach of danger."

As a child I was made me to believe that the guy whose first instinct was to save his own hide was being selfish. Self-preservation is wrong; the right thing to do is to lay down your life on the pagan altars of supposed heroism, even if you are not doing anybody a favour by doing so. Selflessness is IN, right? As I grew up, I was taught a very important concept. True love is not selfish. If it is selfish, it is not love. And here I am referring to each and every form of love: the love between a parent and his child, the love between spouses, love between siblings, anything....true love means thinking about others more than yourself; the moment you place urself above others, you have become selfish. It made me always wonder: What do you mean by selfishness? Is thinking about yourself wrong? And is love really as selfless as it is made out to be?

Was discussing the same point with my Dad, my cousin and my friends ND & GL (separately) over the last week or so. And in all the instances, came up with some good take-aways:

What is Selfishness? Selfishness is when you push yourself up by putting others down. So if you are just thinking about yourself, without thinking about anybody else and with no intention of causing harm to anybody, does that really qualify as selfishness? The moot point here is 'Will you be contended in the long run, if you yourself are not happy but are trying to make somebody else happy'. Think about this- will your loved ones be truly happy, if they know that you are giving them happiness, at the cost of your own self-interest. Is it wrong for a person to safeguard first his own interest and then others, when everybody knows that the utmost happiness a person can get is through self-actualisation? Is it correct to brand it as selfishness or pandering to one's ego? Food for thought.....

Then down to the second most important point: is love selfless? Often parental love is called as the most selfless love. And often you hear statements from young zealous lovers that 'I expect nothing from her/him, yet I will go on loving her/him for the rest of my life, because my love is true.' And I have to ask the question here: is there any such thing as an unselfish love? Most parents value and love their children; therefore the children are an extension to his or her self-interest. As a parent, I would want the best things in life for my children and as a wife; I would want the best for my spouse. As a daughter, I want my parents to be always happy. These values of mine are by no stretch of the imagination selfless (putting their needs ahead of mine) but rather selfish because they are what I value in life and I will do everything necessary to take care of them. Because I value their love and affection, I must take care of them emotionally, financially, and physiologically.People say, true love is one which doesn't expect anything from anybody. Does the fact of judging love inversely with the amount of expectations you may have, ever arise here? Certainly not, because Love by itself is the Most selfish emotion in this world. Consider this: you cannot say “I love you” without first saying “I”.

If you do charity, are kind to others, does that really make you selfless? And if you buy things for yourself, not thinking about others, does that make you selfish? Strange distinction. Because in both cases, u do it because u feel good doing it. Nothing else. The journey is different; destination remains the same. The quest always had and always will be the quest for happiness. Some people find it in others; some in themselves.

So stop berating the poor guy who climbed up the tree in self-preservation on seeing the bear. Trust me, that was the wisest thing he could have done, because he would have been of no-use to his friend if he had just stood there shivering, waiting for death to befall both of them. Being 'selfish' helps, definately!

Taxing Airfare

A month back while returning from Bangalore (my first visit after the new international airport was constructed), I encountered a most vexing announcement- ‘All domestic departing passengers are requested to pay Rs. 260 as User Development Charges at the terminal entrance’ Now as a rule I am not against levying of taxes and it is not a question of money either but after the huge amount of taxes which airline companies already charge from the passengers (as everybody knows normally fare charges constitute only 5-10% of your total ticket amount; the rest are pure taxes), paying any sort of tax again was something of an anathema to my typical CA brain (Ahem!). When I went & asked the airport authorities I was told that the private developers of the airport were levying taxes for ‘building and maintaining’ the airport. Sic. Then I realized that about 4% of these charges goes in the Govt’s kitty. In short, we are being charged for making use of something which should have been our right, since most of us pay our taxes regularly which in ordinary parlance is anyways supposed to be used for infrastructure development issues, right???. This is a blatant example of 'double taxation'. I had no option but to shell out the money, grumbling and mumbling that inspite of being a frequent flier out of Mumbai and Delhi airport for the last so many years, had never heard of such ad-hoc charges being levied! Later on, I learnt from my cousin, that such charges are also being levied at the new Hyderabad airport.

Little did I know that the Bangalore/Hyderabad model would find favour with all airport maintenance authorities in the country. Today news has come in that Govt has allowed the GMR-led consortium Delhi International Airport Ltd (DIAL) that is operating and upgrading Delhi airport, to impose airport development fees (ADF) on passengers upto Rs 200 on domestic traveling and 1300 on international traveling. And news has come in that not to be left behind, Mumbai Airport has also applied to the Govt to allow it to levy ADF.

In short, your air journey is going to become more taxing, literally!!

The Weekend To-do list...

Yesterday night was chatting with an old college friend, both of us bemoaning the fact that life has become sooo complacent after we finished CA. Today afternoon, another friend told me he misses the mad multitasking that we used to do during our CA days..there is nothing left in life apart from office and home these days. So very true. Somehow the excitement, that drive to accomplish something seems to be missing from everybody's life. Veekay's life nd boring???? Yeah yeah, unbelievable but true, bcoz as GL often told me, mere saath hamesha kuch na kuch hota hi rehta tha!!! Time to bring back those old days?????

That hit me. Hard. Spent 2 hrs thinking as to what is holding me back from doing what i want. Nd the answer i got was, Nothing! Zilch! Heck, i am never gonna be 24 and Single again in my life, right???? Finally i decided to draw up 10 things i wanna do/get to spice up my weekend. Won't call it a resolution, just a to-do list:

1. Give GMAT exams. Have postponed it already twice due to lack of serious inclination to study again. Nd no plans to pursue MBA in the near future. But GMAT is something i wanna give, nd this time I WILL do it....

2. Involve myself more in adventure sports. Have already tried para-gliding & rappeling nd I am hooked. Now wanna try something different. This time, its definately gonna be scuba diving :)

3. Learn Salsa. Now thats something which i wanna do for a long time now, but frankly himmat nahi hoti, considering the fact that the best one can describe me is a mediocre dancer or rather a good dancer, if you ignore the fact that I do bangra steps on lavni song and vice versa.

4. Learn to drive. Now thats really a tall order, considering the fact that i am hopeless with directions. [Ahem, many people can vouch for my geographically-challenged brain, especially HT nd DC....Psst, remember the infamous drive to the CA institute nd my equally infamous dialogue...'Tujhe left lene bola tha, toh extreme left kyu le liya???' Barely managed to save my life from the murderous intentions that time. Heh heh]

5.Involve myself more in volunteering activities. The passion will never go down on this front and that is a vow to myself.

6.Learn to be more accident-free, especially while getting in and out of a BEST bus.

7 Take up the guitar classes again...have almost lost the touch to play. Last time i took out my guitar, it sounded really wierd!!!!

8 Learn to meet people socially without being nervous [unbelievable, but I am actually verrrry bad in making small talk!As I was talking to my cousin S today, I keep on looking at anywhere except that person's face. Ahem, hope it doesn't land me in a soup anyday!!!]

9.Get a state-of-the-art Home theatre system [caveat1...bonus mila toh!!! caveat2...job raha toh!!!]

10. Increase the no. of hrs to 48 per day during weekends so that I can still catch up on my sleep even after doing the above-mentioned things!!!

Dilli-6

The one thing I am really really choosy about is my music. And rarely have I loved an album for its entire soundtrack; generally u tend to find 1-2 good songs in an entire album-the last three notable exceptions being Rehman's Guru, Jaane Tu..and S-E-L's Rock On. The "Dilli-6" promos on TV really excited me...though it is again from the RDB's Rakeysh Omprakash Mehra-A.R. Rehman-Prasoon Joshi baton, the look nd sound of the movie reminded me more of the Rehman-Mani Ratnam combi in Bombay nd Yuva. Interesting. So I decided to lay my hands on the entire soundtrack and the results were extremely pleasant, to say the least!

The Soundtrack opens with the stunner 'Masakali'..From the opening accordian piece, the song promises to be masterpiece. And to add to the effect, the amazing vocals by Mohit Chauhan (this guy is one seriously amazing singer- his slightly nasal twang & naughty variations in the song are just toooo good). Only Rehman could have allowed the singer to take centrestage by keeping the music as simple nd as unobstrusive as possible. And boy, the end result is just gr8!

The second track is meant to soothe the heart of the severest of classical conneuseur (and it does!) Rarely you can find a good classical song of this calibre in a Hindi movie thesedays. Titled 'Bhor Bhaye', what Rehman has essentially done is interspede Ustad Bade Ghulam Ali Khan’s vocals in Raag Gujri Todi with Shreya Ghosal's beautiful voice. So the track has two feelings to it- as if one is listening to an old gramaphone recording of Bade Khaansaab and Shreya humming back in the old Guru-shishya parampara. Amazing song. Reminded me of my classical music learning days.

The third track 'Noor' is Amitabh Bacchan rendering a beautiful Shayri in his deep baritone voice...Kabhi kabhi style. As usual the mesmerising voice does all the trick!

This is followed with the extremely soothing chant, 'Tumhare Bhawan mein Mata'...nothing but a simple chant with only bells & sitar for accompaniment. More on the lines of the prayer song in RDB 'Ik Onkar', the beauty of the chant lies in its utter simplicity.

The next soundtrack is the extremely extremely unique 'Genda Phool'. Its typically a Bidaai geet, but trust Rehman to mix-n-match it with some really funky drum nd saxophone beats in-between, creating an absolutely unique sound of its own. Possible one may not appreciate the song on first hearing it, but trust me, it really grows on you.

And then comes the pièce de résistance of the entire soundtrack...nd it simply leaves you Wow! 'Dil Gira Dafatan' simply takes your breath away from the beginning, what with the opening lyrics eloquently sung by Ash King and ably assisted by the husky-voiced Chinmayee. Keyboards, Violins and the strumming of guitars in a very meditative style support King’s vocals. Again, music at its minimalistic mesmerising best. And the words and music take you on an altogether different plane, from where everything seems beautiful below. Plz dont miss this stunner.

Soundtrack 7 is the quirky 'Hey Kaala Bandar'. It’s odd, and has a wandering techno beat, but the quirky lyrics and the interlude with the Arabic style singing adds a nice touch. The weakest track in the entire album.

This is followed by Rehman crooning 'Rehna Tu, Jaise Tu'...great lyrics on this one and great jazz beats remniscent of Jaane tu's Jazz Title track'Tu bole...main bolu'. However it sounds way too much like the earlier mentioned song, so that reduces its novelty factor.

Rehman then dishes up with the funkiest, craziest raggae title track. It’s complete metallic fun with a base of reggae that will make you want to visit Dilli right away! The music is trip hopping with some mad whacky guitar playing. 'Yeh Dilli hai mere yaar' rocks!

And then the last track 'Arziyan'. The Sufi side of Rehman yet again rises to the occasion. After the extremely enchanting Piya Haji Ali (Fiza) and Khwaja mere Khwaja (Jodha Akbar), Arziyan sees the return of the killer Tabla. The clapping, the soothing music and the brilliant voices of Javed Ali and Kailash Kher make this song an instant hit. A great end to an extraordinarily great album.

Rehman'a albums always have an underlying theme. If Rangeela was pure taporigiri, RDB was rebellious techno, Guru had the shaayrana feel, Jaane tu was youthful innocence, Saathiya the new-age romance, then Dili-6 will probably have an underlying theme of minimalism, this time experimenting with hitherto untried music forms of pure classical nd reggae. Way to go Rehman! Clearly the album scores big-time!!!

In search of Cold Coffee...

Inspired from my conversation with GL, my closest pal nd one of the nicest, funniest, whackiest guy in the world. And also a guy who always strives to hide his philosophical side from the whole world. Buddy, this is for you....

I needed coffee. Not just any coffee. A cold coffee. Desperately. The craving hit me in the evening, when I was roaming the streets of Bangalore. Alone. Solitary. Reminiscing about life. Rather the have-beens of life.

Memories. They dont necessarily hit you when you are alone. You can be alone or in a crowd. They just creep upon you slowly and surely, enveloping you in their confining tendons. You try to shake yourself out of them; but they are stronger then they seem, entangling you deeper and deeper in their black core. You struggle, you scream. They just dont let you go. They suck you surely, deeper and deeper in the heart of the dark abyss. And suddenly, when you have lost all ur struggle, all your hopes of being free, they just disappear; as if a light dispels darkness, banishing it from the dark dungeons.

And here I was, roaming. Trying to shake myself from the blues enveloping me. When suddenly it hit me. I needed to have something. It could have been something stronger too-something which would me make me exorcise my demons for a while or something hot to fight Bangalore's chilly winds but Goddammit, I dont know why, it had had to be a cold coffee.

Suddenly I saw this quaint little place beckoning me. Lost in a obscure corner. Enveloped in a shady light. Just like my thoughts. I entered it and signalled to the waiter. 'Ennu Beku Saar?' came back the waiter. 'Cold Coffee hai?', I asked. The waiter looked at me askance and replied in halting Hindi 'Nai hai, kuch aur chahiye?'

My heart told me 'No. I only want cold coffee. Nothing else'. I admonished my heart, glanced at my surroundings, took a deep breathe, and told the waiter 'Ek chai laana..'

Just like my life. Just like your life. The life which goes on, regardless.