India shining, but why parents are still whining...

A lot has been made about India stepping into the 21st century. The politicians & community leaders are very quick to give exemplary references to the India shining campaign. Still many of them are gracious enough to espouse the cause of minority reservation to show solidarity to the meteoric & equitable growth of the nation. But when we talk about Indian marriages which are inter caste and inter religious, it seems like a taboo to most of these community leaders. Why a big-deal is made out of an inter-caste marriage in our country?

Forget about the rural areas, even the so-called ‘educated urban’ parents draw a line where marriages are concerned.However loving and caring the parents maybe, when it comes to the question of marriage parents ‘demand’ complete filial obedience. And the problem gets escalated manifold when a girl of the house wants to marry somebody out of caste. Immediate aspersions are cast on the up-bringing of the girl by the community & the fear of the same draws unequivocal rejection by the parents; which in some cases go as far as torturing the girl both physically and mentally. Also the parents ‘wash-off’ their hands from the girl & keep chastising the day the ‘girl’ was born who had the temerity to blotch the family name. Honour-killings, just to preserve the chastity of the family is also not unheard off.

Recently I heard a case in my community where the father & his immediate relatives are blaming the mother (who is supposedly single-handed responsible for the upbringing of the girl) for abetting her daughter in going against her pure-brahminical values; to the extent that the father has threatened the mother with divorce if the daughter goes ahead with her decision.

Such atrocities raise many questions like: Why is caste imposed on couples who want to get married peacefully? In simple words, what is the big deal? Where does the buck stop here? Why is marriage between two individuals made out to be a grave community problem? Why the decision to marry 'somebody else' implies that a person has no respect for his/her parents? Just because a girl decided to get married of her own choice, why are aspersions caste on her upbringing and her character? Why is she not free to like or love someone and live happily with her partner?

As Chetan Bhagat opines, we are taught to love by our parents. Then does love loses its meaning just because it was not bound by geographic, casteist or religious parameters?

Love Futures & the US marriage market

First things first, a disclaimer- Guys, plz take this article with a strong dollop of humour. No offenses intended!

Thats what everybody in my group is talking about these days- 1. Markets & 2. Marriage. Well, the first topic is an occupational hazard...u just cant stop talking about it, especially in the current times. The second, well every single female (and some guys too) in my batch has been facing some heat at the home-front about their marriage-plans. So almost everybody is exchanging their tales of woe- one way or the other. But guess, we guys are so used to make money out of everything, even marriage as an area of possibly minting some money doesn't seem far-fetched :-) (P.S. The marriage mall idea i had mentioned in an earlier blog arose from one such merger of the two...)

Take another example of my conversation with AM the other day. Like me, AM is a Chartered & a banker. She is a sweetheart, a true-blue friend & about to get engaged. With the virtue of her having worked in NSE earlier, we were discussing the recently launched currency-futures. The conversation went something like this...

Me: So what do u think, will these futures.....

AM (shrieking): Yeoooouuuuiieeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Almost sounding like a cross between Celine Dion singing & Tarzan yelling)

Me(panicking): A, what the hell happened? Are u alright?

AM(excitedly): Hey Veekay, guess what, I have a great idea!

Me(non-plussed): Huh??????

AM: Hey, we have so many futures- stock futures, commodity futures, currency futures? U know why- bcoz people think that their movements are a gamble nd they wanna hedge their losses, right!! But u know which is the biggest gamble on earth?

Me: Kya?

AM (more excited than before): Marriage, stupid! What if there were 'Love-futures'? I mean what if somebody could buy or sell assets that pay in proportion to the number of years the love will last in a marriage, say up to some maximum of fifty years.

Me (getting into the scheme of things): And what, if u get married to a person nd then u realise u dont love him?

AM: If the love never starts, you get your money back. Simple!

Great idea...dont u guys think so? :-)

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Another fallout of the ever-deepening mortgage crisis. My another friend PK has decided (wisely, i think!) that all the potential grooms working in the US are not to be considered. To quote her, "these guys are reallly risky assets...U cannot even think about leaving ur jobs here nd moving there bcoz ,
a. frankly u yourself will not find a job,
b. the guy can loose his job anytime too &
c. if he looses his job, both of u will be stuck with a piece of real-estate trash for which u wont be able to afford ur mortgage payments nd plus cant realise money out of disposing the property too. Better stick to the guys in India. Atleast, they will have liquidity'

Superb piece of credit analysis. Wish the mortgage houses & the IB firms had such practical sense too while identifying assets for investment :) :) Hehe, Jus kidding!

Being Single- Part II

In an earlier post on my previous blog, I had lamented the fact that the only problem of being single in a group full of committed people is that u don't have a friend to spend ur weekend with...That was before i came across another 'side-effect' of being single....

What to say...it's the marriage season! Everybody (well almost!) seems to be getting married; if not atleast getting hooked up..there has been a spurt of 'committed' status on orkut amongst my friends lately...Gud for them! But the general season of bon-homie & love has huge repercussions on singletons like me... Till today, it was only my aunts doing match-making for me (generally at family/relatives weddings; a gud reason why i have been altogether avoiding weddings of lately!), but now i find even these 'committed' friends of mine have joined the bandwagon...Hmm, I wonder, is this a case of "Hum to dube hain sanam, tumko bhi le dubenge"?? :)

We attended the first wedding amongst my CA group last week.... From the time my mom heard the news of this close friend of mine getting married, she had perked up all of a sudden...There seemed to be a new purpose in her gait the last few days... her eyes had been shining with a new glint whenever she looked at me (Not exactly, thats my imagination running overwild!)...Nd her behaviour too towards me suddenly seemed to have undergone a metamorphasis; she had been inordinately sweet to me the whole week (P.S. she even turned a blind eye to the mess I had made of my cupboard last week, IMAGINE THAT!) All of which made me suspect, something's definately cooking....

And I was right (take a bow, Sherlock Holmes!), it had to Happen....this last Sunday, my mom's best friend, Usha Kaku was visiting us, both of them engaged in their weekly gup-shup (a mild word for their gossipping sessions). Suddenly my aunt turned towards poor 'ol me (i was reading a gud novel with the afternoon cuppa) & said " So, what are u planning to do in the future?" I briefly raised my head to say "Nothing...Office is going on & planning to give a couple of exams in Jan, probably" My aunt got bugged & said " You & ur studies...Planning to study ur entire life or what... Its time u start thinking about ur life. This is the right age for girls to get married. "(Never mind the fact, that my CA studies are not yet finished, per se!) I stared at my Mom as if to say " whats the point in all this?" Mom got up & said "Well, there is this Masters guy living in Los Angeles who has come down to Mumbai..."

Bas, khattam... Every strange thing that was going on, fell in place... I put my foot down, specifying in no uncertain terms that i don't have any intention to get hitched in the near future...Felt bad seeing their crestfallen faces, but I guess, sometimes u have to do, what u have to do, right!

Well, after that everything is back to status quo... Got a scolding from my Mom yesterday as soon I came from office, regarding the forsaken cupboard... But, what the heck, it was the first time i didn't mind that... Infact, I absolutely loved it!!